Watching her eight-year-old daughter’s fingers furiously tapping out a series of texts, Jenna Taylor realised how obsessed she’d become with her mobile.
Jade never let it out of sight and when it beeped with a message, she shielded it from her parents. And now, she was giggling at something.
Deciding to check up on her, Jenna seized the phone. But not even in her worst nightmares could she imagine what she was about to discover.
Her little girl had taken naked pictures of herself and sent them to her classmates asking them to do the same.
“I felt sick to my stomach,” shudders mum-of-two Jenna, 31.
“She was so young, she probably didn’t realise what she was doing was wrong, so I couldn’t punish her.
"I’d never heard of this happening so I didn’t know how to deal with it.”
Jenna is not alone in discovering that sexting – sending sexually explicit messages – is an epidemic sweeping primary schools across the country leaving children open to bullying and blackmail, or worse.
Earlier this week, new figures showed 15 children a week are now kicked out of schools, including primary schools, for sex bullying and harassment.
And according to a recent survey by myfamilyclub.co.uk, a shocking 71% of kids between 12 and 14 are using phones or social networks to sext.
And 15% are children aged six to 11.
The poll of more than 1,000 mums and dads revealed that over 55% of people who caught their child sexting, found the messages on their mobile phones, as opposed to social networking sites.
Jenna and her husband, David, gave Jade one of their old pay-as-you-go phones, a Nokia Lumia, for her eighth birthday.
“All her friends had one and she’d been begging us for ages,” says Jenna from Basingstoke, Hants.
They topped it up with £10 a week, thinking she was texting her mates about TV and days at school.
“We told her the usual things, not to lose it or ring foreign countries, but it didn’t cross our minds something more sinister could be happening.”
Jade had owned the phone for six months when Jenna found the naked photos of boys and girls from her class.
In the ‘sent’ items, there were four pictures of her daughter – posing nude in front of her bedroom mirror.
Other messages between the classmates were full of crude words, detailing what they’d like to do to each other, and asking for more photos.
“When David got home from work and I told him, the colour drained from his face,” Jenna recalls.
“He couldn’t bear to see the messages, so I had the job of telling him what was in them.”
Composing themselves, Jenna and David, spoke to Jade, determined to help her see how wrong it was, without scaring her.
“Like all parents, we’d told our girls not to speak to strangers, but we felt she was too young to hear that sick men and women could have got hold of her photos and sent them all over the world on the internet.
"Instead, we explained her body was special and she had to keep it private. She said it was just a game and that she understood.”
But after tucking her daughter into bed, shaken Jenna broke down sobbing.
“In the messages were things you wouldn’t expect an eight-year-old to know about. We have child safety measures on our computer, but we didn’t think to tell her not to take naked photos of herself and send them on. What if they’d fallen into the wrong hands?”
Desperate to warn other parents, Jenna phoned some of the mums she knew from the school.
“They were just as shocked,” Jenna says. “We met up the next day and went to the school. The headmistress was really supportive and sent a letter out to parents.”
Jenna and David have now banned their daughter from having a phone. “We’ve learnt a valuable lesson and would urge other parents to check their children’s phones – or not give them one at all.”
Mandy Saligari, clinical director of Charter Day Care on Harley Street, and an expert on parenting, adolescents and sex, believes children under 11 do not need mobile phones.
“Parents prefer to live in denial and turn a blind eye to how their children are communicating virtually because once they realise the responsibility they have, they become overwhelmed,” she says. “If they don’t set boundaries, though, their children will never be motivated to communicate naturally and we’ll end up with an entire population who can’t interact socially.”
Mum-of-two Kelly Mason, from Hereford, didn’t allow her 10-year-old daughter, Amy, to have a phone, but she still fell victim to sexting.
“It was a Monday when I got a call from her school, saying there had been an incident with Amy. I thought she’d had an accident, but when I got there her teacher said there were naked pictures of her going around.
“She’d had a friend over for a sleepover on the Friday and she’d posed for the mobile phone pictures.”
The girls then texted them to boys in their class.
“I was horrified,” says Kelly, 47. “Amy didn’t realise the severity of what she’d done. Once I’d calmed down, I said the pictures could have ended up on the net where perverts can see them.”
Mandy adds: “Children this young think it’s hilarious to show their private parts. It’s nothing nobody hasn’t done before, but it’s when it falls into an adult forum that it changes into something sexualised.”
Kelly, who had no idea sexting existed among primary schoolchildren, now hopes to make other parents aware. “There needs to be a national campaign to warn every parent in the country about this. People have to be vigilant before something really terrible happens to their child.”
But Mandy also warns against snooping on your child’s phone.
“You need to monitor your children and note what they’re sending, but be upfront about it from the beginning and don’t go behind their backs. Otherwise you’re teaching your child to be devious.”
Kate Thomas, 41, discovered her daughter, Sarah, 13, was sexting when she got a phone bill for hundreds of pounds.
“I called her downstairs and took the phone out of her hands. She asked if she could clear it, and when I said no, she burst into tears and locked herself in her room.”
It was then mum-of-four Kate, from Manchester, decided to look through the messages.
“Several boys from school had texted asking Sarah for oral sex, describing in detail what they wanted her to do,” Kate says. “I felt sick.”
But that wasn’t all. Sarah had posed for pictures with her top down, exposing her cleavage. After warning her daughter about the dangers of sexting, Kate cut up Sarah’s SIM card and confiscated her phone. But she’ll always regret not talking to her sooner.
“I thought she was too young for me to worry about things like that,” Kate says. “But I was wrong.”
Dr Richard Graham, who founded the UK’s first dedicated Young Person Technology Addiction Service at Capio Nightingale Hospital, in London, says there is an ever-growing need for support for parents like Kate, Kelly and Jenna.
“One of the reasons children of primary school age are found to be participating in ‘adult’ activities, such as sexting, is due to the ease with which material can be disseminated.
"Data-sharing is possible at the click of a button and the in-built cameras mean that the generation of material is equally effortless.”
But many organisations within the public sector, such as counsellors and GPs, have already responded to this disturbing new craze and can offer help to parents, teachers and any other adults involved.
Dr Graham adds: “As we celebrate new technology it is essential that we analyse the risks as well as the rewards.
CEO of myfamilyclub.co.uk, Gemma Johnson, adds: “We all know that it’s crucial that the innocence of childhood is maintained.
"I would urge any parent who fears that their kids or their peers might be involved in sending or receiving such messages to chat to the school, their GP or a close friend for support and advice.”
ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT IDENTITIES.
Sexting: Poll stats
25% of parents who discovered sexually explicit messages on their child’s mobile phone, secretly snooped.30% were alerted by a sibling or friend of their child.
75% of parents did not ban the use of mobiles or social networks after their child had been caught sexting.
85% of parents did not seek support or help.
Sexting: How to deal with the issue
Children need to understand that sharing sexual messages and photographs may make them vulnerable (for example, would they put them up on the school noticeboard?)Here’s what to do if you suspect your child is a victim of sexting:
1 Explain to your child how sexting poses a risk to them.
2 If you are worried that your child has been affected by sexting, question them gently, expressing your concern. Be prepared to listen calmly to their story.
3 Set out what action needs to be taken. Be clear that this must be taken in order to ensure the sexting is stopped and then agree with your child what you are both going to do.
4Do not attempt to tackle the perpetrators directly. Instead, report the situation to the school, your local social services, police or the NSPCC.
5 Seek emotional support or treatment for your child to minimise the impact of the experience.
SOURCE: NSPCC
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